


i know you're looking for salvation in the secular age (but girl i'm not your savior)

by dankobah



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (rey is a bratty sub when we get into it), Alternate Universe - Art School, Dom/sub, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Oral Sex, Photographer!Ben, Praise Kink, Restraints, Rough Sex, Shibari, Size Difference, Size Kink, Spanking, Vibrators, painter!rey, set in brooklyn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:53:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23378674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dankobah/pseuds/dankobah
Summary: "What are you studying at Pratt?”Rey answers, “Drawing and painting.”Ben nods and says, “I go to Pratt as well.  I’m a late student, going back to school for photography after a bullshit poli-sci degree.”  She notices how he omits his age, and also how his voice sounds like warm honey.“But you shouldn’t be drinking, kid.”  He reaches for her drink and Reyrips it away.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Finn/Jessika Pava, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 63
Kudos: 194





	1. no we're never gonna quit it

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Curious Niffin (curiousniffin)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiousniffin/gifts).



> tags  
> underage alcohol consumption  
> photography

Art school is...wild, so far.

Rey Kanata didn’t expect her freshman year would start out like this, in a tiny flat in Brooklyn, jungle juice running hot in her veins and feeling as if her skirt is a little too short.

This is a small party, invited by her roommate Jessika. She had linked up with the host, a guy named Poe who lives in their building. She’s barely unpacked back at her apartment, and she knows Jessika hasn’t even brought her stuff from her parent’s place somewhere in the tri-state area. 

Rey’s never been a partier, nose to the books or sketchbook. So she doesn’t exactly know how to act here, especially as Jessika chats Poe up and ignores her.

Rey has no friends here, and she’s always been insufferably awkward in her head. Sure, people liked her in high school, but what if she’s too juvenile for the New York elite? For fuck’s sake, she went to a high school in DC, hardly the epicenter of fun. Everyone was a private school kid, in because of their Senator daddy’s money. Rey had to work her ass off to be like her peers, taking a job after school to help support Maz. Sure, Maz made enough money to sustain them but Rey felt bad for taking so much cash to go to private school.

It got her into Pratt though for a full ride and Maz could easily pay for Rey’s half of the apartment’s rent based on how the bar is doing.

“Can I get you another drink?” She wheels around and looks up at tall, dark, and...oddly handsome? He’s holding a motorcycle helmet, his hair artfully swooped out of his face and not looking helmety at all. His nose is large on his face, eyes a whiskey brown. 

Rey could gaze at him all day. Unfortunately, she has to answer, and she’s dumb as she mumbles, “Uh-”

“Anything you want, not that jungle juice shit.” 

She bites her lip and chances, “Gin and tonic?” That’s what adults drank right? At least they always ordered shit like that at the bar. This guy has to be a proper adult because he owns a motorcycle in this city. Rey scans him up and down, noticing that he’s holding a bag as well, setting it on top of the microwave.

“I can do that. What’s your name, kid?” He’s reaching for the cabinet by her head and she ducks to the side, stepping back in her oxford shoes. They’re new, brown leather shining like his eyes as he grabs the gin. 

She answers quietly, “Rey.”

Watching him dump gin into a plastic Yankees cup, then reaching into the top freezer and flexing the ice cube tray. He loads up the cup with ice, then grabbing a can of mango La Croix from the fridge. He stirs it with a paper straw obtained from a drawer. Then he holds it out to her, and Rey marvels at how huge his hand is and how trivial the cup looks.

“I’m Ben.” What a nice name. She bites her lower lip and sips the gin and tonic. He waits for what she believes is approval.

She gives it in the form of a nod, and Ben looks around the party. “You’re not underage, right?”

She shakes her head quickly, wiping gin from her lips as her head swims once again. “Uh, I’m a student at Pratt. I’m nineteen.” Rey took a gap year to work at the bar as a waitress and save up money for apartment furniture and other things. 

“Nineteen, damn. What are you studying at Pratt?” 

Rey answers, “Drawing and Painting.” 

Ben nods and says, “I go to Pratt as well. I’m a late student, going back to school for photography after a bullshit poli-sci degree.” She notices how he omits his age, and also how his voice sounds like warm honey.

“But you shouldn’t be drinking, kid.” He reaches for her drink and Rey rips it away.

“Don’t call me kid and I might take you more seriously. Besides, the host practically thrust a jungle juice at me.” Ben looks unsurprised at this.

Then he clucks, “That would be prime Poe behavior. He doesn’t think to check IDs.” 

Rey reminds, “Neither do you.” She tugs on the straps of her denim overalls and Ben watches her as she does.

“What’s with the accent?” 

She’s not offended, “I grew up primarily in the UK, from the age of three. Before that?” She shrugs to prove her point.

Then she clarifies, because the liquor makes her talk and spill her guts, “I was a foster kid until thirteen. Grew up in DC after that.”

Ben nods along and pulls a beer from the fridge and pops the cap, taking a swig. Then he says, “My mom is the senator of California so I visited DC a lot as a kid.”

Interesting. She wonders what it’s like to have a prevalent politician be your mother. Deciding to bypass that potentially traumatic query (people don’t enjoy talking childhoods in detail after all), she focuses on sucking down her gin and tonic.

Ben then picks up the bag on top of the microwave and says, “Follow me.” Her curiosity spikes enough to do so, following Ben through the packed living room and down the tiny hallway to two bedrooms. They’re in the same building as them, but their apartment is on a higher level and seems nicer than their unrenovated two-bedroom.

Maybe it’s not a good idea to go into a guy’s bedroom, but she does anyway, watching him set the bag on the black sheet covered queen bed. He asks, “Can I take pictures of you?”

What an odd question. Her head swims, and she bites her lip.

“I don’t really look my best right now.” He shrugs.

“I respectfully disagree but it’s all right. Another time, maybe?”

She digresses, “Another time.”

She rather likes this Ben if he can respectfully disagree with her on how good she looks.

\- 🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷 -

**| Two Weeks Later |**

Classes are crazy.

No one can blame Rey for this self-care break she’s taking, dancing around her room to Taylor Swift while she ignores her easel in the corner. She’s just copied her sketch onto her canvas, a still life of a laptop and headphones. Her heather grey robe swirls around her, big tee on underneath.

She shimmies around her room, the sounds of  _ The Man  _ blasting over the speakers. She almost doesn’t notice when there’s a knock on her door, looking back at it and furrowing her eyebrows. She knows Jessika is having a movie night, but she said she wasn’t coming out to join. Walking to the door after turning off her speaker, she opens it up to Ben.

He’s a surprise, and for some reason, her heart flutters. Maybe a familiar and happy memory inducing face is just welcome, homesick lately. She misses DC; she misses how much quieter it was. She misses a private school with fewer art school expectations. 

He leans in the doorway and says, “Jessika said you were skipping movie night tonight.”

She mumbles, “Yeah, what’s it to you?”

“I came tonight because I thought I would get to talk to you.” Her heart speeds up, and she bites her lower lip.

“I’m sorry, I’m just swamped with work.”

Ben nods, seeming to understand, “So what are you working on, then?” Rey nods back towards the canvas, and he hums in thought as he looks at it.

“What’s it supposed to be?” He steps past her and peers at it.

She mumbles, embarrassed, “It’s a laptop and headphones-”

He recovers, “Ah! I see that now.” She blushes deep, and he still peers at it. 

He says, “I came to ask you about something.” 

Here they go. Rey is all ears as she sits on her bed, on the mattress that’s not the comfiest but it came in a box the size of a water heater and could fit in Maz’s car. He continues, “I was hoping I could get you into the studio for an assignment I’m doing. It’s portraits.”

She nods immediately, mainly because she wants to spend time with Ben. She realizes suddenly that she doesn’t know his last name, and she asks, “Before I agree, what’s your last name in case you skin me and murder me?”

“Solo.” What a nice last name. 

Short and sweet and to the point.

\- 🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷 -

**| One Week Later |**

Pratt has a photography studio, unsurprisingly. Since Rey has only been on this campus for three weeks, she’s never been to it.

She enters, looking around the white walls, green backdrops, and lots of studio lights.

It’s a huge studio, so it takes a minute to spot him, down near the emergency stairwell at the last studio installment. He’s got the huge body of a DSLR in one hand and his phone in the other.

Rey practically skips up to him, smiling wide and seeing a flash of a smile shoot across his face like a comet. Then he says, “You look...nice today.” With paint-splattered overalls and scuffed white Adidas, she figures that it means portraits are to look messy sometimes. She’s bothered to fix her hair, which is why she’s late. 

“Do I really?”

“Yeah, very art school. Sit on that chair there, let me get everything in order.” She jets to the stool and plops on top of it, dropping her backpack and paint kit at her feet. Then she crosses her legs and Ben takes a deep breath and begins setting up lights.

Watching a huge man set up heavy things does something unexplainable to her, and her thighs press together. “How tall are you?”

He answers, “6’4. What about you?”

She replies, “5’7.” He nods and continues to set up. 

Eventually, he moves to set up a tripod and says, “Poe and I are going out tonight if you want to join us.”

She raises her brows, “I’m not of age.” 

He looks over with pity and says, “Oh baby girl. They don’t card in New York.” The “baby girl” makes her belly burst into billions of butterflies, blue ones to be exact.

Ben doesn’t seem to notice her momentary stunned expression. Then she questions, “Isn’t it a school night?”

He shrugs and she knows she should pass, but she’s been wanting to test out her new fake. She bought it in DC, from another private school kid who sold them a hundred bucks a pop so he could support his weed habit. She wishes she’d remember his name, but it was so long ago.

Then Rey refocuses on him as he waits expectantly for her answer. “Uh, sure, I’ll go.” He nods with a wide smile and spins the lens onto the camera, then putting it on the tripod. 

He then focuses on the camera screen and she says, “Should I pose?” 

“Just smile for some test shots first.”

She nods and does as she’s told.

Rey has a sneaking suspicion she’ll do **almost** **anything** he tells her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new fic alert. please share this on social media if you feel so gracious. thoughts and feelings welcome at [twitter](https://twitter.com/dankobah)
> 
> work title is inspired by ["girls" by the 1975](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbe_s-hrd34)  
> chapter title is inspired by ["chocolate" by the 1975](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNR8sJy2oM8)


	2. the back of your head is at the front of my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He slaps Poe on the arm and says, “Hardly. I welcome thirty like the sweet embrace of death.” Rey can’t help her grin, and he smiles too.
> 
> Poe looks between them before rolling his eyes. 
> 
> **“Get a room.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags   
> alcohol   
> photography   
> Poe Dameron for more than 15 seconds (some people don't like the guy, can't relate)

Shooting photography with Ben is a painless experience.

He makes her smile with his concentration and funny faces, the way his tongue sticks out when he’s trying to get the perfect shot. She helps him out as much as she can, tilting her chin on command and making different expressions when he asks for them.

Sure, it feels a little unnatural, but she doesn’t mind it too much. This feels better than school picture day, especially as he looks at the screen after one shot where she made a silly face and says, “Gorgeous.” 

Is she really gorgeous? She ponders on it while they wrap up, having been there for two hours fiddling around and getting some extra shots of a different framing. He asks when he’s putting the lights back, “Pre-game at mine then we go out? There are a few dives in Brooklyn. One has four dollar beer.”

Rey detests beer but fuck, if he likes beer then she’ll pretend to like it. She’s a fruity drink type, and he continues, “Unless you don’t like beer. I hate beer, cocktails are the shit.” 

She sighs in relief, “I don’t like beer.” Ben is packing up his camera.

“Smart girl. Don’t let any man tell you otherwise.” She flushes again and he packs up everything. Rey picks up her backpack and paint kit. 

“Want to ride on the back of my bike?” 

She nods enthusiastically and luckily she’s brought her smaller paint kit today so it’ll fit with them. They leave the studio and walk down the hall to the elevators, Ben slamming his finger on the button and biting his lower lip. 

Rey observes him, wondering if he would sit still for a portrait. 

It’s only fair.

**\- 🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷 -**

He doesn’t get his own obsession with her. 

Neither does Poe when she comes walking into the house after him, looking at Ben like he’s brought in a lost puppy. Ben says, as he throws his camera bag on the couch, “She’s coming to the bars with us tonight.” 

Is it a good idea? God no. Is he doing it anyway? Yes. 

Ben then walks to the tiny galley kitchen, opening up the freezer and grabbing Tito's Vodka. He then grabs the orange juice out of the fridge, setting them next to each other. Poe asks, “We’re getting fucked on screwdrivers?” 

Rey is staying out of their way and he wants to tempt her closer. Ben replies, “Yeah, I’ll buy you a drink at the bar for my insolence, my liege.” He looks back through the doorway at Rey.

Then he asks her, “Can I get you anything baby girl?” Ben isn’t stupid; he saw how she got all rosy at the moniker. He’d be an idiot not to use it again, especially when it rolls off the tongue so sweetly. 

She reacts the exact same, before stepping to lean in the archway while Poe relocates to a place out of the way of the cocktail making in the kitchen. “Uh, whatever you’re having.” 

He nods and pours a shot and a half of vodka into each cup he’s set out, then dumping in orange juice and putting in ice and paper straws. They each take a cup and Ben makes sure they say, “Cheers.”

Then they drink, Rey sucking down greedily through the straw and letting her eyes lid and shut before her lashes flutter her eyes back open to stare at him like he’s the only one in the room.

It’s bound to be a good night if she’s looking at him like that.

**\- 🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷 -**

Ben was right: no one in Brooklyn cards. 

They end up in an underground speakeasy that Poe wanted to head to, and she had her fake out. Ben had only side-eyed her for five minutes for being ready to hand it over, before snatching it from her to look it over.

Poe says, looking at it, “Wow, convincing. They even got the holographic seal.”

Ben looks disapproving and Rey says, “Hey, it doesn’t matter. I got in without it.” Then the waitress comes by setting down napkins and a specialty cocktail menu. 

“Will these be separate checks or-”

Ben interrupts, “She’s on mine, I’m buying him one drink.” Rey bites her lower lip at the gesture and she assumes it’s only for this bar. The waitress nods and she hightails it away from the table to another one. Rey looks at the specialty menu, then cocking her head at the artisan bullshit these drinks contain. Mango bitters? What are those?

Ben seems to sense her struggle. “I’ll order for you. I think you’ll like what I get you.” 

She cocks her head, and he explains, “I would get you a whiskey sour but with orange bitters with it.”

She asks, “What are bitters?”

“Bitters are an aromatic type alcohol you can add to a drink.” She nods along with him and shrugs.

“Fine, order for me.” She sits back in her high-back chair and stares at him across the Edison bulbs. Poe is null at this point, a pseudo-date between Ben and Rey. She can’t wait for an actual date (if it happens) and the waitress comes back by.

Ben orders, “Whiskey sour, add orange bitters for her. Greyhound for me.”

Poe says, “Let me get a Midori sour.” Ben rolls his eyes, and the waitress walks away.

Poe clarifies, “Ben hates Midori sours.”

“Not worth the ripping hangover I got.”

Rey pipes up, “I want to try one.” 

Ben shakes his head, “No you don’t. You get the worst hangover from them.”

She rolls her eyes, “I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m young! What’s the worst that will happen?” 

Ben says, “Hangovers don’t discriminate, kid.” She sticks out her tongue and blows it.

Then she says, “I’m not old like you. Speaking of which, how old are you?”

Poe’s grin is wide as he nudges Ben. “Come on Benny boy, how old are you?”

He grits out, “Twenty-nine.” 

Oh, that’s not bad. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but she likes that age. Not too old, but still sophisticated and mature. He continues, “That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Age is just a number.” 

“It’s not like Ben is panicked about turning thirty in October.”

He slaps Poe on the arm and says, “Hardly. I welcome thirty like the sweet embrace of death.” Rey can’t help her grin, and he smiles too.

Poe looks between them before rolling his eyes. 

“Get a room.” 

That earns him another slap on the arm.

**\- 🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷 -**

Ben is blessed with a good tolerance.

Rey, however, is sloshed. It’s obvious she doesn’t drink a ton of drinks she orders herself, preferring them given to her based on a guess she wants another.

So he gives them to her and cuts her off when she concentrates very hard on walking straight to the next bar. He’s been purposely avoiding the more dive-type places, Poe glad to live it up in the atypical rooftop bar that rarely colors their personal bar crawls.

Poe is all into aesthetics, a graduate of Interior Design at Pratt. So he’s having the time of his fucking life talking through the rooftop bar’s Feng Shui, and Rey is loving listening to him. Ben couldn't care less and sips on his whiskey rocks. 

Rey asks, “So wait, that couch would face east if you laid this place out?”

Ben interrupts, “Did you get your still life done?"

Rey nods proudly, “Onto the next assignment. I also have something to do for my visualization class.” She sits back on the couch and he scoots closer to her. There’s no point in sitting next to her if he can’t get in her space, their knees touching. 

Poe scans the bar, narrowing his eyes. “Is that fucking Hux and Rose?” Ben perks up and looks back where Poe is looking. 

Sure enough, Hux stands at the bar with a very petite Asian girl he recognizes to be Rose instantly. They’re an item, Ben and Hux knowing each other from Snoke’s campaign that he worked on. Rose goes to Pratt and was in his jewelry making class. Ben introduced them and the rest is history; he wonders idly what their kids would look like with ginger hair and short stature. Ben says, “Go get them.” 

Poe hops up and scurries off and Rey is following him with her eyes. Then she looks to Ben, and he explains, “Our friends, Hux and Rose.” 

Rey nods and the three come over to where they’re posted. Ben slaps hands with Hux twice, then pounding fists and snapping twice. Rose rolls her eyes. “Always with the handshake, huh?” She’s wearing a creamy pink maxi dress, white wedges, and a white cardigan over the entire ensemble. It very much contrasts Rey’s paint-splattered overalls and messy sneakers, in a cute way. 

Rose reaches out her hand to Rey, “I’m Rose.”

Rey shakes it and replies with a smile, “Rey.”

Rose sits across from them, squeezing in next to Hux who’s sat next to Poe. The fire pit flames lick up the metal cover and Rose continues, “So Rey, do you go to Pratt?” 

Rey nods, “First semester.”

Rose exclaims, “Oh, a baby! You will have so much fun, don’t let cynics like Ben get in your head.” Rey looks over at him and he sips his drink to avoid answering to that.

Rey confesses, “He hasn’t gotten in my head. Though I would appreciate knowing exactly what I’m getting into.”

Ben answers this one, “Lots of forced creativity.” 

Rey says, “Well I don’t think my creativity will run out.” 

“That’s naïve, kid. Everyone hits their creative limit, eventually.”

She scowls at the truth, and he shrugs.

He’s not here to be sunshine and roses.

**\- 🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷 -**

Rey’s head is swimming so much that it’s hard to walk.

Even standing is an event, feeling as if she’s teetering on high heels rather than Adidas. Rose holds onto her shoulder, equally sloshed. She taps Rey on the nose and Rey’s eyes momentarily cross to spy the finger flitting out of her vision.

Then she looks at Rose, and they both break out into giggles. The speakers in the bar are playing Harry Styles, an odd choice for the late-night crowd. It makes her want to dance though and Rose is talking, “You know he really likes you.” 

Rey asks, “What?” 

Rose gestures to Ben, who’s playing pinball against the wall. He’s just out of earshot and Hux and Poe stand near him as he plays. “He likes you. Have you two done anything? He’s not touching you all possessive like he normally does with girls.”

That makes her stomach drop and Rey feels nauseous suddenly. Would he be touching her by now if he liked her? Does she even like him? Or does she like the idea of him, a brooding and big photographer that could snap her like a twig? Rey wants to run and hide and assess the situation and Rose has owlish eyes so Rey quickly blurts, “I need air.” 

Then she rushes out of the bar and onto the sidewalk, grabbing onto a tree and staring across the street in an effort to center herself. The world still spins and she feels like her lungs won’t expand.

What’s the art school experience if you don’t puke in the street? Rey refuses to be that girl and holds herself then.

“Rey!”

The voice is so recognizable to her cerebrum already, and Ben comes to her side. “I’m here. Hey, are you good?” 

She looks over and there are two of him. How the hell? Rey hiccups and he says, “Oh god. You’re wasted aren’t you?”

That’s a valid assessment and Rey just shrugs. Her filter is gone though, it’s clear when she blurts, “Why aren’t you touching me?” 

Ben looks like a cat sprayed with water and Rey continues, “Is it my age? Nineteen is perfectly reasonable, I could marry sixty fucking five you know!” She doesn’t realize she’s yelling until people look at them.

She’s embarrassed then and Ben is beet red. He then mumbles, barely audible over the traffic sounds, “I was giving it time. Seeing if you would initiate.” 

Rey swallows down a lump in her throat at the realization that she’s a fucking idiot. Ben then says, “I understand if that’s frustrating but I’m also a person with anxieties and one of them would be that you would be upset if I touched you while drunk.” 

Rey shakes her head to herself and whispers, “I’m sorry.”

Ben inhales deeply and reaches out to touch her shoulder. “It’s okay. So, because you’re drunk and upset, I’m presenting this as a “right now only” question. Do you want a hug?”

She nods quickly and before he can open his arms; she thrusts herself at him and wraps her arms around him. He yanks his out of her hold and wraps them around her, encompassing her tight.

He makes her feel safe.

She doesn’t want to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts and feelings welcome at [twitter](https://twitter.com/dankobah)
> 
> chapter title is inspired by ["inside your mind" by the 1975](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEhCtJYmJmw)


	3. the war has been incited and guess what?  you're all invited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How many people have you done this with?” 
> 
> He asks, “Rough number or exact?”
> 
> “Rough.”
> 
> **“Over ten, under twenty.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags   
> the introduction to a dom/sub relationship  
> marijuana (reference to consumption and edibles)  
> drinking alcohol (1 glass of wine) before sex  
> eating food  
> ben has past partners, so does rey.

School gets more swamped, and it’s the end of September.

She sees Ben periodically, his semester also picking up and making it hard to link up and just talk.

That is until tonight, while Rey is baking pot brownies. How she got the pot is no one’s business, but she figured that if she’s going to try edibles, she’s going to try them her way. She’s wearing an apron that says  _ Kiss The Cook  _ and a big t-shirt. Fuzzy slippers wrap her feet and they drag across the carpet as she walks to the front door.

She opens it up and Ben stands at her doorstep, holding a bag of popped popcorn and a DVD. He then says, “It smells loud in here.” 

She asks, “Loud?” 

Ben mumbles, “You know, like weed?” 

She avoids the question, letting him in. She then asks, “Why are you here?” She’s still got residual embarrassment from her drunk freakout a week or two ago (time doesn’t feel real this semester), and she doesn’t want to relive it.

“I thought we could watch Pan’s Labyrinth together. I got it from the bodega down the street for like two bucks.” 

She asks, “Aren’t pirated things illegal?”

He shrugs, “So what?”

Ben then plops down on the couch, and Rey shrugs. “I guess I’ll watch.” Jessika brought the DVD player and Rey never uses it unless it’s movie night or accessing Netflix for the rare occasion she paints in the living room. 

She then walks off to the kitchen, removing her apron and opening up her freezer. “I have coconut rum.” 

Ben says, “I’m not drinking tonight. I’d prefer it if you didn’t either.” She nods to herself and then walks back into the living room, plopping down and pulling her tee a little more down her legs. She wants to stay modest, despite the fact that he sexually intrigues her.

Rey has found herself touching herself in the dead of night, imagining dark brown hair between her thighs and a voice very similar to his sighing “baby girl” in pleasure. She doesn’t want to tell him this so she just presses her legs together for extra measure.

Ben opens up the popcorn, handing it to her before getting up and saying, “Don’t do that.” 

She raises her brows, “Do what?” Surely he can’t be commenting on how she closed her legs. That would be too rich for the situation.

Ben looks back from the DVD player, then squatting down and putting his elbows on his knees. He clasps his hands together and says, “Close your legs.”

She bites her lip, gazing through her lashes. “Here’s something you need to know about me, Rey.” 

She listens intently and he goes on, “I like being in control. Not of your life, but I want to be in control of your pleasure.”

She asks, “My pleasure?” 

“I’d like to think we have chemistry. And what we do with that chemistry is entirely up to your comfort, but I just want you to know that I want to be in control when we…” His trail off spells it out plain.

Rey feels giddy inside, never having much attention from private school guys in high school. No one asked her to her spring formal, and she had spent the evening with Maz crying over it.

So this feels good. Really good.

She asks, “What does in control mean?” 

She doesn’t want to agree to something potentially scary so she’s treading carefully, trying to feign calm serenity. Inside she’s screaming, a fire alarm going off with confetti still raining down in the air. He clarifies, “Like I can move your body how I want, make you come when I want. I can do so many things for you if you just be a good girl and let me.”

Rey nods, measured and keeping it lowkey so she doesn’t look too excited. She’s jumping for joy inside, clicking her heels and rustling pom-poms as she does. Ben then turns back to the DVD player like he said nothing, and pops the DVD in. He closes it and Rey finds herself saying, “Would this be one time? Or-”

“Multiple, ideally. I don’t really want to let you go.” 

She nods and he sits back next to her. “You know about dominant-submissive stuff, right?”

She puts her hand horizontal and waves it, indicating she’s so-so. “I’ve watched some porn-”

“Oh, porn is way more brutalized than what I’m looking for in a submissive.” 

She asks, “But is pain still involved?”

He nods and she replies, “How much?”

Ben is thankfully honest, “Well ideally I would be spanking you sometimes. Restraining your limbs, and uh….I do this thing with rope. The thing with rope doesn’t hurt though, just feels very...restraining.” 

She raises one brow and he quickly says, “The rope thing isn’t something we’d do yet. I’ll ask you when I think you might be ready.” Rey nods and she processes this.

Is she getting offered rough sex with the man of her latest fantasies? “You know, you strike me as a real brat.” 

Brat? He clarifies, “You’re a little mouthier than most women. A lot of women, when I tell them to open their legs, do it immediately. Not question it. You still haven’t opened them.” Rey opens her legs to disprove his point but it doesn’t do much.

“I think that if you give me a chance to show you how I can please you, you won’t regret it.” 

She knows she wouldn't necessarily regret it. She just knows her attachment to him will get bad.

Rey mumbles, “I get very clingy-”

He interrupts, “Perfect.” 

She gives him a confused face and he says, “I’m clingy too. Not to the point where it’ll interfere with you, and you can tell me to fuck off at any time, but I’m still stuck on you. I don’t know why I’m so stuck on you.”

The movie begins to play, lacking a menu and subtitles for the Spanish audio. Ben sighs while standing up, “I forgot this movie was in Spanish.” 

She begins to giggle and changes the subject back, “So let me get this straight.”

Ben stops walking towards the DVD player and listens while she continues, “You want to be my…Dom?"

He nods and she then says, "Okay, and would this extend into real life too? Like if I don't text you back will you punish me?"

He shakes his head, “Not unless you want it. It’s not fun unless you want the punishments a little bit.”

Rey inhales sharply and she can picture it: bent over a bed while his palm comes down across her cheeks and his hand holds the back of her neck in place so she can’t jolt. He licks his lips and then says, “I do everything SSC. Safe, sane, consensual. If you don’t want to get punished, you have a safe word and we break a scene if you use it. No penalties. But I am looking for someone to take care of and sexually satisfy.”

She asks, “If I say no, will you go to some other girl you hang out with and ask her?” 

Ben shakes his head, “I only have you and Rose as the only women in my life right now. And Rose is obviously spoken for.” 

Rey wants to agree, but she knows that right now, with Jessika in her room, she doesn’t want to do anything too loud. Also, she has brownies in the oven and Ben stares expectantly.

“I know this is a lot to chew on-”

Fuck it.

“I’ll do it.”

He looks stunned and Rey stands up, smoothing out her shirt and smiling big. 

Ben smiles as well.

**|🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷🎨📷|**

**\- One Week Later -**

He’s a chicken with his head cut off before subs come over.

That hasn’t changed, but the urgency of vacuuming the hardwood in the living room while making sure the noodles don’t boil over on his ridiculously touchy stove has him on edge. Poe watches this all from the couch, eating a microwave Tikka Masala. 

Ben mumbles, “I don’t see why you just don’t get takeout.” 

“Too broke.”

Ben shrugs and says, “If I pay you to get out of the house for tonight, will you?” 

Poe shrugs, “Depends on your price.” 

Ben starts coiling the vacuum cord, “Name it.”

Poe shrugs, “Hundred bucks.”

Ben luckily always has an emergency hundred dollar bill on him, and this counts as an emergency. He reaches into his back pocket for his wallet, pulling the crisp bill out and holding it up. “Take your leave then.” 

Poe snatches and kisses the bill, then his eyebrows waggle as he leaves the room. Ben moves back to the kitchen, the egg timer going off as he enters the tiny room. He strains the pasta, then saving some pasta water for the sauce. There’s a knock on the door and he wipes his hands off on his black jeans-clad thighs, walking to the door and opening it up to Rey.

She’s just come from the studio clearly, toting a canvas, backpack, and paint kit. She asks, “You know how hard it is to get a canvas through a turnstile?” He shrugs.

“I can imagine. Hey, you’ve got something on your face.” 

She starts to ask, “What-”

He interrupts her with a kiss on the cheek. “Got it.” She blushes crimson and sets her canvas carefully on the floor, assessing it for damage during transport. The medium looks to be acrylic paint, which means it dries fast. Not fast enough, given a smudge in the paint at the bottom corner of the canvas. The picture is half done, a snapshot of beach scenery.

“Is that the Hamptons?” 

He knows from his vacation there as a child, at the property his grandfather owned. That was the only time they ever visited the place, and it was to lock it up for no one to visit ever again. She nods, “A google picture of it. I’ve never actually been.” 

Ben nods and he remembers that he has pasta to make. “Hungry?” She nods and he walks away from her, back into the kitchen where she follows. 

He asks, “Have you drank anything?” He’ll allow one glass of wine to subside her nerves but no more, given that tonight’s plans require the ability to give clear consent. 

She’s honest, “No.”

Ben says, “A glass of wine, a teeny one, might help your nerves spike less. Would you like one?” She nods and he turns to the fridge, opening it up and pulling out the Riesling he bought just for her. Sweeter wine is the bane of his existence, liking his preferred pour to be dark and oaky. 

She watches him and he opens the bottle easily. He used to be a waiter during his first bout of school, refusing to use trust fund money that his mother funneled into the account. Now? He does whatever the fuck he wants with it, paying for school beyond his scholarships and grants. He pours the glass a little bit under half and Rey takes it from him. 

She seems to mimic what she’s seen on TV, swirling the wine around the glass. Then she sniffs it and drinks it. Ben opens up his own bottle of Pinot Noir, dumping some in the glass before getting started on making Cacio e Pepe. Being able to cook well is a gift he will never take for granted, especially as Rey stares at him like he’s a god.

Rey sips her wine, and Poe comes back out into the living room with a backpack and wheeling his bike through. “I’m staying with Hux and Rose!” 

Ben calls, “Have fun!” Rey looks at Ben, and Poe leaves.

Then she asks, “Did you ask him to leave?” 

Ben shrugs, “I can be loud. I’m really not interested in my roommate having something else to make fun of me for.” There’s a laundry list of shit from their shared childhood that Ben gets roasted about. 

She nods eventually and walks past him, back into the living room to reassess her canvas. “I need to fix this.” 

Ben asks, “It can wait though, right?” He can’t stop her, but he really wants her attention on him. As the dom, it should be on him.

“I guess. I don’t know.” Rey sips her wine again before turning on the television, holding the remote lazily as she flips through channels with her arms crossed.

He says, “You know I usually have my subs strip off at the door.” 

She asks, “Strip off?” 

“Get naked. You know. You can if you want.” He tries to say this nonchalantly, it comes out a little more awkward to his ears.

Rey stares him down, maybe trying to call his bluff. “Will you punish me if I don’t?” 

He asks, “Do you want to be punished?” 

Rey shrugs, “Depends on the punishment, but I think I will. Thanks for the offer.” Rey sets her glass of wine on the end table near the couch before she yanks her tee over her head. She’s wearing no bra, and she reaches down to unbutton her high-waisted jeans. Ben nearly burns the pasta while watching, taking it off the heat quickly and sucking in a breath. 

Then she bounds up to him, naked as can be. She gets very close, her breast against his bicep as she lays her head against his shoulder. Ben refocuses on the pasta but can’t help his anticipation as he plates the pasta. “It’s nice being naked. You should too.” Her fingers tug at the hem of his shirt and he bites his lip.

“Sure. Give me a second to get away from things that could potentially burn my cock.” Her body is so lithe, her breasts perky. Not to mention the thatch of dark hair between her legs that he’d love to bury his face into. He leads her to the couch, setting the plates on the coffee table. She plops down, sitting cross-legged on the cushions as he changes the channel to some nature documentary. Poe still pays for cable because it makes the internet cheaper, and it’s moments like these where he appreciates it. 

Rey begins to eat and Ben starts to get undressed as she watches him, still shoving food in her mouth. He urges, “Slower. It’s not going to disappear.” 

Rey does as she’s told and eats slower, and Ben pulls down his jeans. Then he removes his briefs, showing he’s hung. Rey sits, wide-eyed with a mouth full of pasta as she stares at his cock. Ben, as if nothing just happened, sits back next to her and begins to eat himself. She’s right about being naked; it’s freeing beyond belief.

They both eat and Rey eventually asks, “So I should probably tell you that the brunt of my sexual experience is getting laid on my back and thrusted into. ”

Ben asks, for clarification, “So you’ve never had oral done to you, nor anal or fingers?” 

She shakes her head and he then mumbles, “No anal today, obviously. But I can give you oral and fingers if you want.”

She nods and picks up her empty plate. “Can I put this back in the sink?” 

He nods, finishing his last bite, “Mine too?” Rey nods and grabs the plate, walking back to the kitchen and setting them in the sink. Then she walks back into the living room and obediently sits next to him. She scoots closer, finishing her wine before nuzzling into his chest while she swallows. 

Ben trails his fingers up and down her back, biting his lip as he keeps his eyes trained on the television. He doesn’t want to go too hard on her at first, but he wants to get his hands on her and really get to know every inch of her.

He asks, “How’s your pain tolerance?” 

Rey bites her lip and shrugs. He’ll have to go easy on her; he knows it from experience with people new to the lifestyle. “How many people have you done this with?” 

He asks, “Rough number or exact?”

“Rough.”

“Over ten, under twenty.” The exact number is fifteen, but she didn’t ask for exact. 

She nods and looks over at him, then down at his cock. Ben swallows, setting his jaw as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Before we enter a scene, I’m going to ask you if there’s anything that is a hard limit tonight?”

Rey asks, “What’s a scene?”

He explains, “It’s what we’re going to do physically with each other. If you define it as a scene, there’s a clear end that you will understand.” 

She seems to understand this, based on the flit of recognition in her eyes. Ben then stands up, letting his arms drop to his sides. “You’ll call me sir.” 

Rey stands, “Yes, sir.”

He encourages, “Good girl.” Then he turns to face her.

He questions, “So, any limits?’ 

Rey shakes her head and he nods. “Alright. Want to play?”

“I’m ready to play.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts and feelings welcome at [twitter](https://twitter.com/dankobah)
> 
> chapter title is inspired by ["love it if we made it" by the 1975](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_bDxP7cBko)


	4. but if we're gonna do anything we might as well just f*ck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey knows what she's getting into.
> 
> Sorta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags listed above are the tags for this chapter!

Rey knows what she's getting into.

Sorta.

It’s hard to know what you’re getting into when you’re someone like her, ultimately clingy and messy enough to make most men run. Except for Ben. He hasn’t run, not yet. 

She takes a moment to breathe after she says she’s ready to play, and Ben gives her a moment. Then his body shifts, his shoulders square off, and he makes himself seem bigger. Then he rubs his hands together like he’s plotting something.

She bites down on her lip and he says, “Turn slowly in a circle for me. Let me see your gorgeous body.”

When Rey looks in the mirror at home, she sees knobby knees and a lack of breasts, someone prepubescent instead of nineteen. That’s her view of herself. Ben’s must be much better, given how he strokes his cock while she slowly turns in a circle. He’s the biggest person she will be with, probably ever. Rey wants to put her mouth on him but holds off in opt of staring up at him. 

“Obedient girl. Come here.” She steps up to him and he leans down, reaching just under her jaw and pressing his lips against hers for their first kiss. Rey’s first-ever kiss was when she was fifteen, at the botanical gardens by the butterfly bushes with another student named Din. He had used too much tongue and tried to reach under her shirt.

Ben’s hand lands on her breast, but it’s welcome along with the amount of tongue he uses. It’s just right for the situation and Rey twists closer to him. Kissing him feels like magic, running through her veins fast and loose and wrapping around her windpipe with pillowy tendrils. 

He pulls away first, spit webbing between their lips. She stares up through her lashes at him, a blush growing on her cheeks as she gets back down on her heels from her tiptoes. “Can I mark you, good girl?”

She requests, “Below the collar.”

Ben nods, leaning down and shoving his face into her neck to trail soft kisses down her throat. He covers every inch before he bites on top of her chest and makes her jump a little. He looks immediately worried and Rey explains, “Just shocked me. Go on.”

He keeps going as she wishes and the stinging pain makes her feel alive. Rey runs fingers through his hair and his hand comes to grab her right ass cheek and knead. Then he grabs her left, squeezing hard. “I’ve been wanting to touch your ass since we’ve met. You know how hard it is not to stare at it all the time?”

Rey considers herself to have a nice ass, though she hides it with overalls and baggy jeans for some reason. Maybe it’s being uncomfortable with the rest of her body. She kisses him to silence him and Ben smacks across one cheek  _ hard _ . She jumps, still kissing him.

“Good girl.” She nods, and he kisses down her neck again, then letting go of her ass and letting his hands cup her breasts. He has arguably bigger pecs than she has breasts and she tries not to be jealous. He leans down and swipes his tongue over her nipples, sucking them into his mouth and teething ever so softly.

The sensation makes her core come alive, rubbing her thighs together. “Is my wonderful girl needy?” 

She nods, and he lifts his head again, edging her. Then Rey bites her lip and asks, “Please?”

“Please what?”

Rey mumbles, “Don’t play dumb.” 

Ben grabs under her jaw gently, asking, “Am I playing dumb to you?” His face looks serious as he asks.

She can’t help but nod, worried she might do something wrong. He snorts, then beginning to step away from her. Rey furrows her brows, and he says, “If you’re an obedient girl, you’ll follow behind.” 

Rey is not an obedient girl, but she’ll act like it for now. She follows behind and traipses into his bedroom. The sheets are a deep charcoal grey, comforter pulled aside on the bed. The room is tiny though, bed shoved up against the wall. He flops back on the mattress, springs squeaking as he bounces. Rey crawls on top of him, straddling his sides and staring down at his halo of deep brownish-black hair and angular features. 

Her finger traces the bridge of his nose and he asks, “Do you like my nose?’ 

She nods, and he confesses, “I don’t get it.” 

Rey illuminates, “Some people just like enormous noses, I am one of them. Yours just...fits your face.” Then she kisses the tip and runs her hands down his chest.

She taunts, “I enjoy being on top.”

To taunt her back, Ben flips her on her back and underneath him, hovering over her with a smile. She scowls. “Okay, brute. You got this round.” 

He guffaws and reaches between her legs, propping on an elbow and rolling on his side off of her. Rey parts her legs for him and watches his fingers walk along her inner thigh before one rubs a circle beneath her clitoral hood and on top of the nub. The sensation feels novel than when she does it.

“Gonna build you up nice and slow, yeah? Since I’m acting stupid.” This is where her quip bites her in the ass, and she nods and he dips in his finger, in and out and causes her mouth to part and tongue to flick out and lick her lips. 

Rey sighs dreamily and tries to get more of his finger in, but he’s teasing her and bringing her up slow and low. Rey can barely cope with being teased in life, in bed is a whole other story. Maybe this is good for her, perhaps it will build her stamina so she doesn’t come like a freight train the second he does something different.

His second finger slides in past the first, and she stares up into his gaze. His eyes are only trained on her face as her mouth parts, little moans leaving her wanton lips as she squirms for him to push deeper or push up into the piece of spongy flesh that she’s determined to be her happy button with much exploration herself. Ben takes his time exploring her, his other hand coming up to occasionally roll a nipple between his middle and index finger. 

Her head is swimming and she can barely breathe when he finally makes a coaxing motion along her walls. His nails are clipped so nothing hurts, and she whispers, “More.”

The opposite of what she wants happens: he pulls his fingers out, licking them clean and looking her straight in the face. Rey imagines she looks like that shocked Pikachu meme based on the way he laughs.

Ben gives a sardonic grin, “Sorry did you want more? I’m just a dumb brute, I wouldn’t know any better.”

Rey immediately whispers, launching into a special sexual panic, “You know I was kidding, Ben. You make me feel superb-”

He laughs, and she stops talking. He then says, “I’m kidding, Rey.” 

Then he says, “Nothing like making a little fucking brat sweat.” With that, he shoves his shoulders between her legs, head close to the apex as he kisses from her navel down, dark hair curtaining him as he does. His hands grip her thighs, shoving them further apart for more space for his body, laying down on his belly and pushing her knees up. Her breath quickens as she feels his exhale ghost along her pubic bone, his hand unwinding from a thigh to push his hair back.

It makes it easier to watch him latch onto her clit with his lips, licking and sucking obscenely as she  _ literally  _ sees god. God doesn’t look like what she thought he did, not in the form of Ben Solo making her back arch and feel rapture. Moans leave her mouth like a leaky faucet, each moan dripping with a vulgar edge as she cusses.

“Fuck, shit, Ben-” A laugh rumbles as he licks and dips his tongue inside of her and sweeping wetness into his mouth to collect. 

Sometimes, when the sensation grows too much, she edges herself. She tries to pull away from his lips and he does, at first. He lets her have moments of five-second reprieve before digging back in. This is killing her slowly, siphoning all the air out of her lungs and heart. She’s never been eaten out before. It’s not something she thought could happen to a girl, thinking most guys treated pussy like Brussel sprouts: not to be eaten.

Eventually, he holds her down, despite her need for a reprieve. That’s when she comes, with a breathy whine and aftershocks rocking through her entire body. Ben keeps licking and digging his tongue into her, obscenely wet sucking noises greeting her post-orgasm hearing.

Then he pulls his lips off and gazes up at her, a cunning smile on his face. “How do you feel, brat?” 

She’s dreamy, in a post-orgasm glow. “Really, really good.” 

He laughs, “Good. You’ve come before that right?” 

She confesses, “Only by myself. You’re my first orgasm from another person.” 

Ben reaches his hand out, almost like he’s looking for a high five. She high fives him and he grabs her hand, pulling her to sit up. “It felt good to make you feel good. Would you like to continue?” 

She cocks her head, “What would you like me to do, sir?” 

He flushes, and she smiles, “Would love to get my cock inside of you.” Rey nods and lies back again. This is the part she knows, getting thrust into. 

He catches her arm and yanks her back up, her eyebrows furrowing together. He says, “On my lap, facing me.” He scoots to lean up against the headboard, spreading out his legs. His cock is gigantic, a vein running along the underside and up to the reddened and leaking head. This is a cock she’s never experienced before. 

She crawls into his lap and lines up his cock with her entrance. Then she sinks down, squeezing her eyes shut and mouth gaping wide. She takes all of it slow as she can, letting him stretch her and fill her up. 

“Good girl, good girl.” He drags out the second good, then sucking in a deep breath. She gets as much as she can inside of her, then beginning to slowly ride his cock. She’s never done this position before so there’s a learning curve. She goes with what feels good, a motion like the ocean tides and her fingers tweaking her nipples every so often.

Ben eventually reaches for her hips, then grabbing them and starting to manually bounce her up and down his cock. The sensation of him hitting her g-spot sends shooting pleasure up her back, fingers clutching at his hands digging into her hips.

He grunts and groans, breathing deeply with her as she rides him. This feels so good and she can’t get over it, fucking him like this.

The pressure in her lower belly builds and builds, stacking like grains in an hourglass. His hand comes to rub her clit, swirling around the nub.

She feels invincible until that. The hourglass flips, and Rey comes with a loud shout that has her silencing herself with a hand over her mouth and aftershocks that rock her body. He spills inside of her as well, and he’s quickly pulling out after creating an ooze of cum like none other. 

Ben gazes at her, dimples popping up as she shivers and shakes on the way down. “You all right?”

She nods, taking her hand away from her mouth to reveal a wide smile.

“Marvellous girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts and feelings welcome at [twitter](https://twitter.com/dankobah)
> 
> chapter title is inspired by ["sex" by the 1975](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqH9gGJJjIw)


	5. with guns hidden under our petticoats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He asks, “Are you-“
> 
> “Mhm. You took too long.” 
> 
> That ignites a fire underneath his ass and the sternness that he’s so good at hops into his voice box like snapping on a perfect fitting glove. He can’t leave this class but he can put the fear of god into her.
> 
> “Ah, okay. Well, keep touching yourself and think about how bad I will punish you when I get there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags have been updated! some extras include:  
> food and alcohol consumption (after sex)   
> parental issues

School gets busy.

Not unsurprisingly of course; art school can be a shitshow. His assignments have just piled on top of each other and so have hers.

So it’s at least four or five days before they speak after their first rendezvous, over text. He’s in the studio so a little busy but her text throws him for a loop.

* * *

**| Rey - 2:56 PM |**

i’m so horny

* * *

Ben looks from his phone to the group activity the entire class is doing. He’s supposed to be setting up lights but how the hell is he supposed to do that when she’s horny? 

He’ll do anything for attention, including lie. He leans over to Mitaka, a constant presence in his classes, “I’ve got to go to the bathroom. Cover me?”

Mitaka nods and he walks out of the studio, pulling his phone from his pocket and opening it. He replies to the text.

* * *

**| Ben - 3:05 PM |**

Well, hello there. Too busy for a phone call?

* * *

She reads it immediately and her caller ID comes up on the screen, phone vibrating in his palm. He smiles to himself and answers, clearing his throat, “Hey.”

A shuddery sigh leaves her lips, and he stiffens up. He asks, “Are you-“

“Mhm. You took too long.” 

That ignites a fire underneath his ass and the sternness that he’s so good at hops into his voice box like snapping on a perfect fitting glove. He can’t leave this class but he can put the fear of god into her.

“Ah, okay. Well, keep touching yourself and think about how bad I will punish you when I get there.”

She squeaks, and he continues, “If you want to be an obedient girl and stop, I don’t blame you. It’s not as good as I’ll make it.” 

There’s a growl then, and he smiles to himself, knowing she’ll continue. “Unlock your door in about two hours, I don’t want to break it down.” 

Then he hangs up and smiles haughtily to himself. 

Leave it to him to be a good Dom.

* * *

Rey contemplates if she should unlock the door.

Sure, she’d be a naughty girl if she doesn’t, but the rush of pissing him off further is something her frustrated brain needs. Class was shit today, all the critiques she got on her visualization exercise being garbage. They’re still early in the semester so critiques can be bullshit or overly obvious.

But also she knows he’s probably not kidding when he said he’ll break down the door. She unlocks the deadbolt and sits primly on the couch, waiting patiently for the telling sound of the door opening.

She waits for a while, laying back on the couch and kicking her legs up in the air, waving them back and forth and then doing a bicycle motion to entertain herself. What is he going to do to her?

Then the door begins to open and Rey hops up to her feet, brushing her hair out of her face and watching Ben walk into the apartment. He’s larger than life like she remembers, stomach turning as he slams the door behind him so hard that the hinges rattle.

Then his eyes settle on her, a bag slung over his shoulder. She wonders what’s inside, her gut twisting and turning at his presence and at how his knuckles tighten on the bag.

“I assume you got off, huh?”

He steps closer and she whispers in reply, “Yes.” 

He reaches out for her in a flash, picking her up and throwing her over her shoulder. She squeals in glee as he walks her back to her bedroom, head rush prevalent from hanging upside down off of him. “You’ve been a disobedient girl.” 

She’s glad she has, especially when he throws her on the bed without a care. The mattress squeaks as she bounces and Ben drops the bag on the ground. He bends down to rifle through it, pulling out a set of handcuffs. Her eyes pop wide, and he smiles devilishly.

“Oh, now you’re a little shy, huh? Do you regret not stopping?” He steps close to her and motions for her to put her wrists closer together. She could back out at any moment with a safe word, she knows this. 

So she does as she’s told and answers, to goad him, “No.” 

Each cuff snaps around her wrist and he shows her the key. He sets the key on the nightstand and says, “Putting it right here so I can get you out.”

She nods and whispers, “Sounds good.” It binds her wrists in front of her belly and she wishes she could cram her hands between her legs to touch herself again. Ben would probably lose his mind at that and the thought of it makes her stretch to try.

Ben forces her hands back to her belly and goes back to rifling through his bag. “You’ve been a naughty girl so I will treat you like one.” 

She giggles to herself and he grabs underneath her chin ever so gently. “You think that’s funny?”

She confesses, “Perhaps.” He lets go of her jaw and shakes his head to himself, pulling out what looks like a microphone. Then he grabs a spool of rope.

She asks, “What’s that for?” Maybe she’s a little nervous, and he couldn’t blame her for that, could he?

“I was going to tie your thighs together. Is that a good idea?”

He’s asking her for guidance based on her comfort level, that much is clear in his questioning expression and fearful eyes. Rey eventually nods her head in agreement, pressing her thighs together. Ben ties the rope around her thighs, in a tight column. The entire handcuff and rope set up is restrictive, but it doesn’t hurt except for the occasional cut of the cuffs in her skin. 

Then he takes the microphone device and settles it on top of her pubic bone. The head nestles up against her clit, and that's when he turns it on.

And subsequently blows her mind.

The combination of vibrations and her inability to do something about it or control it. She’s at his mercy and it's a compromising position to be in. He leans away and admires his handiwork: her writhing form on top of her own sheets.

She curses, “Fucking shit.”

Ben smiles, “Do you like it? Being forced to come?”

Rey nods her head and Ben leans over, clicking another button to dial up the speed. She grits her teeth and whimpers, wrists straining in the cuffs as he plays with her at his whim.

Eventually she comes, a sonic boom in her body that has her shaking and trying to come down like someone trying to shove the cork in an overflowing champagne bottle. She can’t come down so she orgasms again, and again.

She gets out four times before she’s begging for mercy. “Please sir, please.” Her voice is desperate as she writhes on the bed, trying to hold in a shriek at the fact that it hasn’t moved yet.

“Please what?”

She forces out, because she doesn’t want to, “Yellow.” They covered safe words over text in the week leading up to their first time. He had insisted it, despite saying they weren’t doing any heavy BDSM that would require it.

Yellow isn’t bad, not as emergency inducing as red. Yellow just means “stop one aspect”. 

Ben immediately removes the vibrator and she breathes a sigh of relief. “Was it that?”

She nods, out of breath, “I orgasmed...four times. It hurt.”

He jokes, “Damn it, I wanted five.”

She laughs at that.

* * *

He still considers himself crazy enough to do something with her after that.

Rey said it was okay despite his apprehension, citing that with a five-minute break, she’d be revved up and ready to go again. He removes the handcuffs and thigh tie with practiced ease. Then he spends the next five minutes rubbing her tender wrists before she fishes his cock out of his briefs.

He stripped down while she was writhing, and just watching her has him hard as a diamond. 

“You don’t need any help with my mouth.” She pouts, and he didn’t know she was into oral like that. Most women treat sucking dick like a chore.

He replies, “You can always edge me.” Why he would give her that idea is beyond him, especially since she smiles like a kid at Christmas because he says so. 

Her mouth opens up wide, and she sheaths her teeth, taking the head on top of her tongue and closing her lips around him. Then she bobs her head, working him into her mouth.

Her mouth feels wonderful, and she’s enjoying it with little “mmmm” sounds. “I’m taking you out to dinner after this.”

Rey pulls off, stroking his cock. “Yeah?”

“Yeah and I’m paying.” She makes a face of wonder, before blushing deep and going back to sucking his cock with a ferocity unmatched. He doesn’t stop her from licking and spitting and slobbering all over him, looking like a needy little slut when she does.

It feels like absolute heaven.

* * *

They take an hour to get presentable for outside. 

Ben came on her face, all over her cheeks and mouth. Washing it off was not her most favorite thing in the world based on all the complaining, and he makes a mental note not to finish on her face again.

They’re trying things out and it's no harm if she doesn’t like something she thought she'd like. 

The magnificent thing about Brooklyn is the food. Even a bodega has a special gem or two and don’t get him started on Jewish Delis. He goes for sit-down this time, rooftop Mexican coloring their evening. She has a massive frozen margarita in front of her and chips and queso between them.

A fucking Mariachi band is playing but in the low lighting of the string of lights and the lights bouncing off the city, she’s so gorgeous he can’t breathe. He’s never been so happy in the early days with a sub, the charm usually wearing out after sex act one for the other party.

Ben eats a chip to stop staring and Rey eyes his drink. “What did you get again?”

He tells her again, for the second time, “A Paloma. Grapefruit juice, lime, tequila.” Rey nods.

“I‘ll have to ask my mom about it. I’m going home next weekend.” 

He nods to himself, wondering when the last time he went home was. His mother mostly just drops in when she feels like it and she’s not busy and forget about his father. They’ve still got bad blood that years of therapy has done nothing for. 

If he’s being honest, therapy probably would’ve done something if he continued, but his progress didn’t feel fast enough. 

“That sounds like fun.”

Rey nods and sips her peach margarita again. He wonders what the fuck it’s like to have loving parents like Rey has with her mom. She says, “I’ll be back on Sunday night if you want to see me again.”

Ben leans over the table and kisses her forehead, saying, “I do.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts and feelings welcome at [twitter](https://twitter.com/dankobah)
> 
> chapter title is inspired by [“chocolate” by the 1975](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHk5SWVO4p8)


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